Home.. but soon gone.

Home. It feels kind of good to be here. I like being around my mom and brother, but the overall environment is kind of depressing. I feel almost bad for running away to Ohio less than 24 hours after I got here, but at the same time.. I don't. I should be spending time with my family, but if I stayed here, it would be me, laying around the house, being bored. Well, visiting my boyfriend lacks a lot of visiting him.. he'll be gone from about 1 until 9 on Friday and that leaves me in the house alone to entertain myself. It kind of sucks.. but at least I get to see him the tiny bit of time that I do.

..long distance relationships are pretty much Godawful. We haven't seen each other since August 22nd.. I'm going up tomorrow, I won't get there until about 4:30.. then we have to sleep at some point.. he works 1 until 9 on Friday.. again with the needing sleep.. and then Saturday I'll probably need to leave around 12 or 1, probably closer to 1. But, it's really not much time together. We pretty much treasure every second that we actually do get, for the most part, it's kinda like we live together for that little period of time.. he joked today that I only visit for ulterior reasons, which, I like those.. but no.. of course not.. I just want to spend any time with him that I possibly can. I just want him to hold me in his arms. I want to be able to talk and interact with him. I just want to spend time with him. When I'm at school the long distance relationship kills me because it means I spend a whole, whole lot of my time alone and bored in my dorm room. And that admittedly makes me a little depressed at times. A long distance relationship probably isn't all that healthy for me, but, it's the path that I've chosen, and, though a difficult one, I still would not choose to have it any other way. Except, being with him without the distance, but that's not exactly up to me.

Hopefully, hopefully, November isn't the next time I see him after this time. Hopefully he comes down to WKU 2 weekends from this one. Hopefully. Then, we still don't have much time, but at least it's time.

I feel a little selfish choosing visiting him over staying with my family, but, I really, miss him more than them at this point. It's sad, but true. I'm currently worried that my mom might have breast cancer, we find out about that tomorrow.. I think.

I myself have a 9am cardiologist appointment and then a 3 hour plus drive ahead of me, so I should get to sleep now.